Thinspo

I thought I'd post some of the pictures that give me inspiration.

I fucked up

So I really wanted to start today but then by I'd say about 4:30pm I got to thinking,

I'm supposed to be going to spend the weekend at my best friend & her

family's house so if I did start today, it would do me no good

because I can't get away with not eating there. My best

friend is 7 years older than me & shes amazing. I

love her to death. She suffered with ana

almost her entire teen years. So she

has told me she doesn't want to

see the same thing happen to

me. But what she can't see

is that it already has.

Well I guess I'll

have to wait

until

monday

to start. FML

Day 1

Today is day 1. I'm doing great, I thought about food for a little bit this morning but

then all I had to do was read more blogs & look at thinspo pics. That always

helps. Yesterday was when I really wanted to start but my dad decided to

stay home from work & he made me waffles for breakfast. I can't be

rude & just refuse to eat the food he just made for me. So I ate it.

Today I get to spend the majority of the day by myself so it'll

be easier. I haven't gone to the gym since monday & here

it is, thursday. I don't go there fridays, saturdays, or

sundays because there's way too many people

there & I don't like working out in front or

other people. Today is my last chance

this week so I'm for sure going

tonight.

Stop Bitching

"How can you love me when I am ugly? I guess I can only hope."- LIGHTS

Well I started this week out fasting then by tuesday it was an epic fail. I was doing

great until my dad & mom had to sit me down and have a little talk with me

about not eating. I know it would be easier to just hide it from them but

that's not like me at all. In my house, there's no going without eating

& not having someone notice it. So anyways, on tuesday I wasn't

only getting it from my parents...my brother & sister were

bitching at me too. I need to figure out some way to

avoid letting them get to me, because I know

they're still going to bitch & complain.

What they don't understand is that

this is going to make me a

happier person. I'm

going to feel so

much better

about

myself

once I finally

reach my goal

weight. I know I'm

going to get there, I have

no choice. I wasn't meant to

be fat. Why can't anybody see that?

Oh ya, because you're a fat ass Lisha....
Okay, well it's a little after 12:30am here in
Sugahood, I should probably get to bed & at least
try to sleep. Good night & pleasent dream to everyone.

This Is All New To Me

This would have to be my second post...ever. So please bear with me, I'm a quick learner. 

 I've been looking for advice online about how to go about this type of diet. I've had an

 issue with food almost my entire life & so I decided I'd write a blog about my way

 of dealing with it. I've tried a bunch of diets & none of them seem to work for

me. I find it much easier to fast & completely shut out food, than to keep

portion controls and deal with the whole, "you can eat this but not that. 

Oh! & you can only have this much at this certain time." It's not

worth it. When I was 16 years old I tried this diet & lost

20lbs in one month. All I had throughout the week

were SlimFast drinks, by the way, they get old

real fast. Sometimes I'd get so sick of

drinking them so much that I

wouldn't even have

anything but

water for

that

day. That

was 3 years

ago & since then

I've put just about all that

weight back on. I am so dissapointed

in myself. That was one thing I told myself

I wouldn't do. I'm going to make up for that right

now. I will tell you my height & weight as of right now,

but it's a very sensitive subject for me so please don't laugh.

I'm 5'2" & I weigh 150lbs... I know, I'm a fat ass. There's nothing

that I want more than I want to loose weight & be beautiful. My journey

starts here. The skinniest I've been was at the age of 16 I was 140lbs. I'm
currently 150lbs & I want to get down to at least 120lbs. This is my little wish.
Thank you very much for reading & wish me luck on my endeavor.